The Game is officially begun and the contestants have been announced. We now have established a Republican ticket for the ages. Please be prepared for some of the lowest intellectual levels of political advertising and discourse this country has ever seen. We have the marvelous Wooden Dummy in the form of Willard Mitt Romney. Watch how he grins, grimaces waves his finger and retreats. If you thought Ronald Regan was a puppet for the right wing haters you ain’t seen nothing yet. God forbid this Republican buffoon should ever divulge his taxes. Rumor now has it that he committed a felony for which he was granted amnesty! What is really hiding in the returns he won’t divulge? Ooops! Sounds like a felony! Uh oh Hot Dog!
Enter our heroic vice presidential nominee the illustrious Rhinestone Cowboy, Paul Ryan the buccaneer budgeteer. Never mind that he once embraced the teachings of the avowed capitalist, atheist and feminist upstart Ayn Rand. Why this Rhinestone Cowboy even once claimed that her teachings were the very reason he chose politics as his career. He went so far as to require that every member of his staff read her capitalist manifesto: Atlas Shrugged. Of course this was much to the horror and chagrin of the God fearing Catholic Americans who he now embraces whole heartedly. Sadly they no longer seem to embrace him at all. Will the genuine Rhinestone Cowboy please stand up? Perhaps not, it seems he is duplicitous at best. Smoking Joe Biden is more interesting. At least he shoots from the hip and says what he’s thinking.
This should make for some delightful debates both presidential and vice presidential. God willing the debates will advance the level of rhetoric beyond uttering falsehoods and distortions of reality. Watch as each side retreats to their corners to consult the cut man before the bell rings. Notice that certain constituents on both sides have suddenly gotten very quiet. Is there a smoking gun that at the last moment will bring down the Wooden Dummy? Time will tell and meantime enjoy the show. McCain and Palin were just the warm up act for the Wooden Dummy and the Rhinestone Cowboy.
“Where hustle’s the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There’s been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon
But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me” — from the song: Rhinestone Cowboy written by Larry Weiss
“It’s not the way he says it, it’s what he said, but what can you say with a wooden head? Whether the time is cloudy or the time is sunny it’s always time for Jimmy the talking dummy” — from the song: Jukie’s Ball by Dan Hicks
Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween