I got a binder full of women and a pocketful of cash,

Don’t need no wine or coffee, just show me that great ass.

Women you must know your place now,

It ain’t on my A team.

Equal pay for equal work is just your crazy dream.

We love to burn the oil,

We love to burn the coal,

Let’s burn the whole damn earth down! That seems to be our goal!

Our great God will protect us

As we forsake the earth.

Now show me your damn credentials and your certificate of birth!

Billy Graham he loves me and Donald Trump does too!

To hell with those of you who don’t! I say forget you!

I can’t wait to get elected to pay you bastards back

I’ll rob you geezers blind and the middle class I’ll sack

No need for education, no need for playing fair

I’ll return us to the glory days of business laissez-faire

Remember our dear George Bush and the vision that he took?

I’ll take us right back to those days, I swear I’m not a crook.

So listen up dear people, Listen up to my clear wit!

and never forget who will run up the debt, I’m just a pile of Mitt!

“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” — Will Rogers

“There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.” — Will Rogers

Get off the cell phone and drive! — Jake Shween