Recently a very serious situation has developed in the senate and one of our dearest and most ancient demagogues has become endangered. Senator Addison Mitchell (Mitch) McConnell Jr. had been facing a possible run by one Ashley Judd an entertainer known more for her acting abilities than her political views. Fortunately Mitchy had a crack team of scum digging cohorts who were able to insure his survival, albeit for the time being, by digging up dirt on Ashley Judd whom apparently had still not made up her mind and announced any official run for the senate seat of the endangered species of lummox who has been holding up justice and progress for far too long.

Poor Mitchy had suffered an apparent ‘Nixonian bugging’ of his office. This happens when you receive a small Nixon doll in the mail, place it on your bookshelf, and the next thing you know Mother Jones is hawking stories about how very evil you actually are with an honest recording of your thugs plotting against anyone who dared to thwart your despotic behavior. Yes Mitchy was ‘tricky Dicked’! Now the Federal Bureau of Investigation has taken over. Taxpayer money at work doing the important things like protecting our venal elected despots and preserving their right to preserve their particular special interest group unfettered by ethical behavior and such trifles.

Maybe Rand Paul and ‘Old Mitchy’ can hole up together! They can collect guns, swig whiskey, swap wives and trade stories about shootin’ those yonder revenooers! The Nixon doll will have to go of course. They might be happier with an Ayn Rand doll and maybe a Raggedie Ronnie. Pull the string on Ayn and she says: “The question isn’t  who is going to let me it’s who is going to stop me!”. Ronnie exhorts when you drop him on his head: “Facts are stupid things!”. Why they can amuse themselves in lockstep together as they contemplate how to hold democracy hostage for their own selfish desires. That is of course after they do something important like blocking any overdue debate or common sense bill on gun control!

“Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.” — Lao Tzu

“If you want beautiful music, you must play the black and the white notes together.” — Richard M. Nixon

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween