SCOTUS Trips Then Flips; Paula Deen Comes Afro Clean; What the Frack?!

Oyez oyez oyez the Supreme Court of the United States predominantly made up of angry old men lawyers has jilted many citizens this past few days with some interesting and volatile decisions sure to confuse some of the resident zombies in this fair land. Firstly a decision was made to eliminate the Voting Rights Act! Just think, prejudice has been vanquished! Gerrymandering and redistricting are no longer an issue we need to pay any attention to! Let the hatemongers do as they may it’s just a matter of time until their sons and daughters are marrying outside the Klan! It’s out of our hands, this is our last stand!

Secondly the Defense of Marriage Act was voted to be unconstitutional. Hail Mary! This sure made quite a few Christian zombies upset. How interesting this decision is juxtaposed against the aforementioned vote! Maybe now people can actually begin to be comfortable about their sexuality and there will be no societal stigma attached to their own personal way of life. Certainly the confused and conflicted will continue to be just that,  however,  this is a landmark decision in the right direction for the advancement of human kind!

Paula Deen comes afro clean! Ah the pitiful revelation of a butter slinging television “chef” that she used a hateful term for another race thirty years ago and now repents. Perhaps the media has judged her too harshly. No, it is quite evident that she has judged and convicted herself. She has caused her own demise and toppled herself from her gastric throne of high calorie dishes. Her public relations firm, Butter, Cupcakes and Tears has failed bitterly in it’s attempt to buoy her reputation as well as retain her sponsors. She should have hired Anthony Bourdain as her lawyer and her public relations person and she might have been better off. But there is a sliver lining! Her cookbooks are now flying out of the Amazon warehouse! Apparently butter can still lubricate the tightest of situations!

Speaking of lubrication, oil man who? It appears that we keep getting oil men in the White House! We went from George W. Bush who was a very obvious oil man and friend of the Saud to Barack Obama who seems to lean with the oil companies whether the majority likes it or not! In his speech Tuesday he avoided saying outright that he opposes the Keystone XL pipeline. Instead saying that he would not approve it if it is shown to affect climate change! Say what?! Sounds like the old “we need more studies” bull excrement that we’ve been hearing for years. Yes Mr. President fossil fuel will affect climate change in a deleterious way. Period. End of story!

All that hot air brings us to this gas. If you think fracking is safe think again. The oil companies are doing everything in their power to convince us that this is a safe fuel source and what a bedazzling public relations extravaganza they have constructed. We now have a “fracosauras” by the name of “Talisman Terry” extolling the “clean” and widely available energy source of natural gas. It would be better to have Ronald McDonald trying to convince cows that eating beef was in their best interest! If we can sell it to the kids the adults will follow suit right?! What the frack!?

“I is what I is” — Paula Deen

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

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