Screw Healthcare; Buy a Gun!

If more people owned guns the great citizens of the United States could do away with the need for healthcare altogether. After all when a horse becomes lame it is usually shot to death. Certainly the cost of a bullet is much cheaper than a statin drug, an aspirin, chemotherapy or any of the drugs prescribed for depression. Heck a bullet cost less than a stalk of broccoli. Just think of the billions of dollars that could be saved if we simply shoot people who are ill or depressed.

Perhaps the Supreme Court should enact a law that to be a citizen of the United States one must own a gun. (After all they pick Presidents don’t they?)  There could be classes in schools where we could teach our progeny to shoot first and ask questions later. If there were any unfortunate accidents in this process we could simply say that we were “decreasing the surplus population” just like the famous character of Ebenezer Scrooge did in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Now there was a man ahead of his time!

Imagine what a better place this country would be. The waiting lines everywhere would become so much shorter. No more listening to drug ads ad infinitum on your favorite television shows. Instead we could listen to the testimony of a husband who cured his wife’s depression with a single shot from his brand new .357 magnum:

“She started complaining again that she felt like the walls were closing all in around her. I just went to my gun case and whipped out my shiny pistol and gave it to her right between the eyes! The silence was golden! I think grandpa is next, his Alzheimer disease is rubbing me the wrong way! God Bless America!”

So listen up and stay ahead of the curve. If you have any spare funds invest them immediately in arms manufacturers. Take to the streets and extoll the virtues of guns and live ammo. The world could be such a better place without all the sickos walking around! The new slogan is “Bullets not Broccoli!”

Malala. #gunviolence #gunsafety #gunsense

“If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.” —- Mr. Bumble in Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist

“You can make people buy broccoli!” —- Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

2 thoughts on “Screw Healthcare; Buy a Gun!

  1. We might as well bite the bullet and buy a gun. It is a lot more humane than Obamacare! A middle class family struggling to live is now burdened with $13000 healthcare deductibles whereas before, the company insurance they were on had a $750 deductible, which the family could handle saving every penny they could. They no longer go in to see the family doctor for routine check ups and wait til the illness just won’t go away before they consider going. Or the 73 year old man who worked in a factory all his life to support his family and now has COPD and other work related issues. His asthma is so bad he finally agreed to the oxygen tank to help him live and function. But no…..Obamacare said, sir you’re just too old to benefit society any more. We are coming to take your oxygen tank back so we can maybe save a little cash to pay premiums on the representatives of our great nations private insurance, because they no obamacare is a joke. Watching him walk from the bedroom to his bathroom gasping for air, the fear in his eyes says it all….somebody please shoot me and get it over with. Yep….a bullet would be much more humane and save Mr President lots of money to misspend on poking our nose into the Russia/Ukraine mess…and that’s a whole new soapbox.

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