Screw Healthcare; Buy a Gun!

If more people owned guns the great citizens of the United States could do away with the need for healthcare altogether. After all when a horse becomes lame it is usually shot to death. Certainly the cost of a bullet is much cheaper than a statin drug, an aspirin, chemotherapy or any of the drugs prescribed for depression. Heck a bullet cost less than a stalk of broccoli. Just think of the billions of dollars that could be saved if we simply shoot people who are ill or depressed.

Perhaps the Supreme Court should enact a law that to be a citizen of the United States one must own a gun. (After all they pick Presidents don’t they?)  There could be classes in schools where we could teach our progeny to shoot first and ask questions later. If there were any unfortunate accidents in this process we could simply say that we were “decreasing the surplus population” just like the famous character of Ebenezer Scrooge did in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Now there was a man ahead of his time!

Imagine what a better place this country would be. The waiting lines everywhere would become so much shorter. No more listening to drug ads ad infinitum on your favorite television shows. Instead we could listen to the testimony of a husband who cured his wife’s depression with a single shot from his brand new .357 magnum:

“She started complaining again that she felt like the walls were closing all in around her. I just went to my gun case and whipped out my shiny pistol and gave it to her right between the eyes! The silence was golden! I think grandpa is next, his Alzheimer disease is rubbing me the wrong way! God Bless America!”

So listen up and stay ahead of the curve. If you have any spare funds invest them immediately in arms manufacturers. Take to the streets and extoll the virtues of guns and live ammo. The world could be such a better place without all the sickos walking around! The new slogan is “Bullets not Broccoli!”

Malala. #gunviolence #gunsafety #gunsense

“If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.” —- Mr. Bumble in Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist

“You can make people buy broccoli!” —- Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Offer Solutions; We Know There’s A Problem

What can be done about so much hate and criticism all over the media these days? Its’ presence is pervasive in every form of media and certainly in the increasingly ridiculous realm of politics. People are freely sharing their hatred of one thing or another because they can do so in a fashion that appears to be anonymous. Nothing constructive comes out of any of this bullying and spewing of venom. Feel free to disagree with other people’s opinions but please note that bitterly sharing insult and vitriol is not the way solutions for a better way of doing things comes about.

We need to start respecting each others opinions and sharing our human experience and diversity. It is the politicians job to mitigate this communication and turn it into something constructive. Most need to rise above their chosen profession of law as this by its’ very nature coldly removes itself from a certain level of humanity. We need politicians who actually listen to the people the have been elected to serve as opposed to serving their own special interests and egotistical aspirations. It’s time to elevate the level of communication in the four estates of American Government; not to debase it into the name calling playground confrontation it has become.

Furthermore if we can remove the influences of big money from politics we will actually empower the individual! It’s absolutely amazing how many privately funded political interest groups use advertising and media influences to suggest quite the opposite is true. In reality, when the motivations are revealed, it’s not hard to tell the difference between the good and the bad guys. No rose colored glasses required simply a good measure of common sense. Corporations are not people nor do they behave altruistically. The Supreme Court has done our country a great injustice in upholding their rights as individual entities. Remember as well: Politicians serve the People; not the other way around!

“The more you can increase the fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.” — Noam Chomsky

“Liberals are concerned about the concentration of wealth because it inevitably leads to a concentration of power that undermines democracy.” — Robert B. Reich

The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/noamchomsk166977.html#cDHWZldj6QGEAGO7.99
The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/noamchomsk166977.html#cDHWZldj6QGEAGO7.99
The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/noamchomsk166977.html#cDHWZldj6QGEAGO7.99

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Screw Healthcare; Buy a Gun!

If more people owned guns the great citizens of the United States could do away with the need for healthcare altogether. After all when a horse becomes lame it is usually shot to death. Certainly the cost of a bullet is much cheaper than a statin drug, an aspirin, chemotherapy or any of the drugs prescribed for depression. Heck a bullet cost less than a stalk of broccoli. Just think of the billions of dollars that could be saved if we simply shoot people who are ill or depressed.

Perhaps the Supreme Court should enact a law that to be a citizen of the United States one must own a gun. (After all they pick Presidents don’t they?)  There could be classes in schools where we could teach our progeny to shoot first and ask questions later. If there were any unfortunate accidents in this process we could simply say that we were “decreasing the surplus population” just like the famous character of Ebenezer Scrooge did in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Now there was a man ahead of his time!

Imagine what a better place this country would be. The waiting lines everywhere would become so much shorter. No more listening to drug ads ad infinitum on your favorite television shows. Instead we could listen to the testimony of a husband who cured his wife’s depression with a single shot from his brand new .357 magnum:

“She started complaining again that she felt like the walls were closing all in around her. I just went to my gun case and whipped out my shiny pistol and gave it to her right between the eyes! The silence was golden! I think grandpa is next, his Alzheimer disease is rubbing me the wrong way! God Bless America!”

So listen up and stay ahead of the curve. If you have any spare funds invest them immediately in arms manufacturers. Take to the streets and extoll the virtues of guns and live ammo. The world could be such a better place without all the sickos walking around! The new slogan is “Bullets not Broccoli!”

“If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.” —- Mr. Bumble in Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist

“You can make people buy broccoli!” —- Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Supreme Court Approves Union of O’Reilly & Limbaugh

In a surprise emergency verdict today the Supreme Court announced the decision to allow the same sex marriage of Bill O’Reilly the esteemed Scranton weather man turned Fox News political pundit and the ‘Jabba the Hut Like’ Rush Limbaugh disseminator of misinformation on the radio! Justice Anton Scalia delivered the unanimous decision of the court allowing that the two ‘incontrovertibly demonstrated’ the ability to argue and feud just like a married couple is apt to do so: ‘why not let the two deviants tie the knot and consummate the union the old fashioned way!’ Great plans for this festive occasion are already under way. Prince Remus (Reince Priebus) has agreed to be the wedding planner!

So far the rumors are that the wedding will take place in South Beach Miami at the luxurious Trump International Beach Resort. The guest list is quite extensive and is sure to grow. The highly steamed and overwhelmingly evil dictator with a bad haircut of the tiny sad country of North Korea, one Kim Jong Un is to preside over the wedding ceremony as he has already been credited by certain lunatic fringe GOP party members to be the cause of unholy matrimony as well as gun control and rampant paranoia among other afflictions of mental paucity. It is only fitting that he preside since he is the cause of such diverse mental dysentery. The best man is sure to be Kim’s best bud the highly tattoed and well punctured former member of the Chicago Bulls basketball team the rebounding and ever eloquent Dennis Rodman! Ann Coulter will be the flower girl but no word yet on whether her bulldog will attend.

Representative Louie Gohmert republican of Texas has been outspoken in his support of such odd partnerships. He actually had predicted that such match ups would surely take place after he confessed his attraction to a Gila monster last November. Prince Remus thinks he has an eye for decorating so he has placed Representative Gohmert in charge of festooning the buffoonery! A Tex Mex theme it may very well be. The illustrious Wayne LaPierre, el presidente of the NRA, will be in charge of catering the event and is sure to provide plenty of fresh red meat for all to consume in corpulent debauchery. Donald Trump has promised full access to his ‘very large Twitter’ to help spread the word!

Bend over Rush and brace yourself! Bible thumping Bill is coming in from behind! Shades of deliverance upon you all! Lord have mercy we’re having a hoe down!

“I’ve always been crazy it keeps me from going insane!” — Waylon Jennings

“When the Democrats flip their kritch like these bastards let me know!”                  — Jake Shween

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Government, Insurance and Socialism

What do those three words conjure up for you? Visions of big government peering over your shoulder and raiding your still? Insurance payments due so you can go see a doctor without taking an ambulance from your apartment to the emergency room? A return to the horrific days of Mussolini, Hitler and fascist dictatorships that are perverse versions of socialist states? Sadly in many cases of modern Grand Old Party propaganda that is the exact image they want you to think of. They seek to use scare tactics to keep the oligarchy (read oil consortium) in place. Rule by the privileged few who can afford to buy the government representatives aka puppets they need to keep themselves in power.

In less than one week the people of the United States of America must make a crucially important decision. Will we follow a puppet who professes disdain for half of this country or will we embrace a straight shooting visionary with the courage to stand up to the military industrial complex? This past week gave us further reason to embrace the latter. Most people don’t want big government to interfere with their lives that is unless they are faced with a natural disaster that is so gigantic that they themselves nor their cities or states have the resources or the funding to pay for disaster relief. Think on it now. What constitutes that relief? Why it’s simply a bit of “Government Insurance” paid for by our collected taxes in what the naysayers would define as a system of Socialism!

What a concept that we would need help! But the cold hard fact is we do!. Every day we need help to survive Every day think of all the things you have learned from past generations, teachers and the like. Even if you spend days in isolation you still must depend on the knowledge you have acquired from others to survive. If you are faced with a natural disaster, a cataclysmic event that destroys everything you know and love, the need for a socialist structure of aid and recovery becomes a life giving necessity. Call it a form of Government Insurance. Think of it next time you pay your taxes. Think of it when you pull the lever or press on the screen to elect the President of the United States for the next four years!

“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.” — Winston Churchill

“We either need to redefine socialism and the negative connotations it importunes or replace it with a better ideal such as egalitarianism.” — Jake Shween

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

The Death Panel Speaks; Fear and Loathing on First Street

Imagine if you will a world without doctors. A world where if you are sick and dying your fate is decided by judges instead of doctors and nurses. As you lay dying on the operating table you are surrounded by apparent experts on the law and its applications. It’s reminiscent of a black mass. They are all dressed in robes. You think it’s your appendix as the pain is in your side however more than half of these judges are prepared to give you brain surgery. As you lay there writhing in pain they argue as to which among them should wield the knife and cut something.

The room is dark and foreboding. Instead of antiseptic aromas all you perceive is the smell of musty tomes of musty words. Instead of a scalpel a dark figure hovers over your helpless body with what appears to be a letter opener. Another holds a gavel. The gavel rises and crashes into your temple. Unfortunately you are still half conscious as their macabre ritual proceeds. Finally, since you clutch at your side, the judges, after hours of infighting, decide to stab you in the side. Some of them turn to avert their eyes. Some of them stare with indifference as the crude instrument impales you below the rib. Immediately a mixture of blood and water flow out.

Life ebbs out of you slowly as the black figures circle you. Behind them you can see rows and rows of books that are filled with nothing that can help save your life. Did any of them consult a doctor before deciding to impale you with such a crude instrument? No that would have been too kind and merciful. Instead they proceeded to ignore any healing procedure whatsoever. They acted solely upon their apparent expertise at something, something which had no purpose other than to officiate argument. Sadly you die. One of many faced by the death panel. Profits remain sacred. Human life is but a trifle. The law must be upheld at any cost!

“If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.” — Hunter S. Thompson

“Politics is the art of controlling your environment.” — Hunter S. Thompson

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Fast and Furiously Ignoring the Obvious

Anyone watching the news this past week would have found the congressional grilling of the current Attorney General Eric Holder at center stage. Somehow with the congressional approval rating at an unprecedented low these republican clowns can still find time to divert the countries attention from the fact that they have stonewalled every Obama initiative at every turn. So instead our tax money is now paying to watch these boobs grill the attorney general about a program that had little effect on the country other than to possibly help out the NRA by bringing more guns into public circulation.

Where is Alberto Gonzales at a time like this? We need a champion of Attorney General Justice from the former glory days of the Bush administration. You know, the guy who willfully fired U.S. Attorneys that Bush had hired in the middle of their terms because they refused to enforce Republican principles and or initiatives. Thankfully Fox News has hired this legal wiz kid as a talking head. Now if he would only get on his soap box and let us know the proper punishment for Eric Holder instead of harping on the pending Supreme Court decision regarding the Obama Health Care initiative. Or having the asinine audacity to proclaim that Obama is violating his oath of office with his new immigration announcement.

Once again lawyers are proving why they make such lousy leaders. Most of them would rather hear themselves talk than make any progress towards a better future for everyone. Their biggest thrills come from out bullying each other. What’s that you say? Obama is a lawyer? Indeed he is and a graduate of Harvard Law School at that. He’s needed now as he is up against a prime example of a bully from the business world. Willard Mitt Romney of Bain Capital. Check out the picture of him and his cronies waving cash around back in the eighties. What a country!

What a gleeful bunch of guys! How cheery to think of them as rich elitists running things! What rascally frat gags can we expect if Romney gets elected?

“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

“I can make more generals but horses cost money!” — Abraham Lincoln

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween