Ah the pure politics in the United States of New Jersey. Who could possibly imagine for one moment that the saintly Governor Christie would ever pull off such a dirty deed as to totally screw up the traffic in Fort Lee because he didn’t get Ft. Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich’s endorsement for Governor? Fuggedaboutit. It just didn’t happen. Governor Christie pleads the fifth. How dare you accuse such a Republican icon of playing dirty politics. He didn’t stop the garbage pick up in Newark because of Cory Booker did he? No the guys a prince.

Governor Christie would make a great President! Imagine him dealing with the other dignitaries of the world. What culture and class. He’d tell them to kiss his fat ass! He’d say: “None of your damn business Putin, Merkel, Abbot or that frikkin’ jack off Pope Francis.” Hell he’d even tell Rush Limbaugh where he can stick it. Any problems? Just make a phone call and “take care of that thing”. Fuggedaboutit. He’s with me. He’s okay. I swear on my Mother’s grave.

People ya gotta stop picking on this guy. Look at all the great shit he’s done. He frikkin’ vetoed a minimum wage increase! He said no to marriage equality. No way to equal pay for those dumb broads. Stricter gun laws? What the frikkin’ hell you crazy? What’s Gino gonna do without a piece to protect the drug money at the pizzeria? Increase taxes for the wealthy? Again, are you deaf? This man is out for justice. Jobs bills my ass. Let them earn their way up like the rest of us wise guys. We paid our dues. Christie’s a prince, you can take that to the grave. Fuggedaboutyou!

“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster” — Henry Hill (played by Ray Liotta) in Goodfellas

“Leave the gun, take the cannolis” — Capo in the Clemenza family (played by Richard Castellano) in The Godfather

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween