Good News! The Currency is Signed Stylishly!

Good News to report today fellow Americans. The horrible insult to the currency of the United States of America, committed by Jacob Lew, has been amended and what was once an immature doodle of a scribble of a signature is now almost legible! The New York Times reported today that Jacob Lew, Secretary of the Treasury and also the “Chairperson, Financial Stability Oversight Council” has been practicing his long hand signature and has perfected it to such a degree that it is now worthy of imprinting on all denominations of American currency. Turns out that he will be starting with five dollar bills to be released later this fall.

Perhaps he is aiming to stabilize our finances slowly with such an approach. Now about that other title of his.The Financial Stability Oversight Council was established by the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act. Apparently, we the people, now have another federal agency making sure we are safe from financial idiocy and greed! Just imagine avoiding what occurred during the derivatives fiasco that brought the worlds financial markets to its respective knees. The world is a better place now, the financial markets have been made secure and stable! We actually have an ace on the case! Finally a man whose signature we can almost read is on the job! He will stick up for the little guy who was run over by the “Too Big to Fail” fiduciary institutions that so bitterly failed us in the past.

With news like this our minds should be at ease. Hopefully everyone had a Happy Father’s Day. Now we can embrace the upcoming summer solstice with a renewed sense of hope, trust and diplomacy. Someone who can write in script is in charge of printing money and protecting the consumer. Hooray for America and Wall Street!

“Gotta get down to the cumberland mine.
Thats where I mainly spend my time.
Make good money, five dollars a day. made anymore, I might move away.”  — The Grateful Dead Cumberland Blues

The author is saddened by the loss of a brother from Jersey, James Gandolfini. He will be fondly remembered at the end of his television show driveway, in his P.J.s, retrieving the morning paper as showed in the opening scenes of The Sopranos. Arrivederci Goodfella!

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween