Tag Archives: politics

The Lost Boys Run; The Wooden Dummy and The Rhinestone Cowboy

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The Game is officially begun and the contestants have been announced. We now have established a Republican ticket for the ages. Please be prepared for some of the lowest intellectual levels of political advertising and discourse this country has ever seen. We have the marvelous Wooden Dummy in the form of Willard Mitt Romney. Watch how he grins, grimaces waves his finger and retreats. If you thought Ronald Regan was a puppet for the right wing haters you ain’t seen nothing yet. God forbid this Republican buffoon should ever divulge his taxes. Rumor now has it that he committed a felony for which he was granted amnesty! What is really hiding in the returns he won’t divulge? Ooops! Sounds like a felony! Uh oh Hot Dog!

Enter our heroic vice presidential nominee the illustrious Rhinestone Cowboy, Paul Ryan the buccaneer budgeteer. Never mind that he once embraced the teachings of the avowed capitalist, atheist and feminist upstart Ayn Rand. Why this Rhinestone Cowboy even once claimed that her teachings were the very reason he chose politics as his career. He went so far as to require that every member of his staff read her capitalist manifesto: Atlas Shrugged. Of course this was much to the horror and chagrin of the God fearing Catholic Americans who he now embraces whole heartedly. Sadly they no longer seem to embrace him at all. Will the genuine Rhinestone Cowboy please stand up? Perhaps not, it seems he is duplicitous at best. Smoking Joe Biden is more interesting. At least he shoots from the hip and says what he’s thinking.

This should make for some delightful debates both presidential and vice presidential. God willing the debates will advance the level of rhetoric beyond uttering falsehoods and distortions of reality. Watch as each side retreats to their corners to consult the cut man before the bell rings. Notice that certain constituents on both sides have suddenly gotten very quiet. Is there a smoking gun that at the last moment will bring down the Wooden Dummy? Time will tell and meantime enjoy the show. McCain and Palin were just the warm up act for the Wooden Dummy and the Rhinestone Cowboy.

“Where hustle’s the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There’s been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon
But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me” — from the song: Rhinestone Cowboy written by Larry Weiss

“It’s not the way he says it, it’s what he said, but what can you say with a wooden head? Whether the time is cloudy or the time is sunny it’s always time for Jimmy the talking dummy” — from the song: Jukie’s Ball by Dan Hicks

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Livid Over LIBOR and Other Monopoly Game Trivia

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The banks are holding the people ransom for the value of their money. Just think if there weren’t any people all the money would be worthless. The latest scandal involves a collusion between banks setting the interest rates they would charge to lend money to each other. There is something seriously wrong with a system that can so arbitrarily decide the fates of millions of people with just an email asking a banker to fix an interest rate. This has turned into a perverse game corrupted by greed. No longer do these institutions serve any venerable purpose, instead it is now their province to find new and better ways to take our money. None of these money managers create wealth, but they sure know how to steal it.

Without new and firm regulation and resolution this idiocy is bound to continue. The difficulty is to find the few and the rare individuals who hold moral principles higher than their want of power or money. Perhaps this could be a new council instituted by the United Nations. Some sort of panel independent of the International Monetary Fund which has fallen prey to rampant corruption just like governments the world over. Independent of the Multinational Corporations which will, if left unrestrained with the same rights they have in the United States as citizens, eventually control the entire world. The time for change is now.

As mentioned before in this column, the simplest way to explain what has happened is just like in the game Monopoly. Sooner or later certain players own the most valuable resources and real estate and every one else pays. There is no built in system of sharing. The problem with a religious solution is that there are too many different systems of beliefs. It is time for people to forgo their ancient belief structures and venture some new tenets and mores which hold up but one prophet. Namely: The Common Good. A new version of an old idea. Something not based on an old religion of hunter gatherers who where at war with land owners and grain growers. Perhaps we could base it on common sense and preservation of humanity.

“Mother’s in the kitchen picking bones for breakfast
Boiling them down by the bushel and the score
Pull out your thumb and count what’s left of your fist
There’s a wolf at the window with ravening maw.”                                                          — Elvis Costello’s: National Ransom

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Booth Bobbleheads and Santorum’s Pubic Schedule

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Yes folks it’s official. You too can be the proud owner of a John Wilkes Booth bobble head doll. At least until last Saturday when the items where removed from shelves at the Gettysburg National Military Park visitor’s bookstore according to USA Today. Apparently the doll was depicted holding a gun. I can’t imagine why this would be in bad taste. Surely a marketing genius must have thought up this item. Better still was the procurement of this item for sale at a Nationally owned park facility.

The Altantic Wire reports that Tuesday Santorum staffers sent out an e-mail to reporters announcing his “pubic schedule”. Is this the ultimate Freudian slip? It certainly seems that pubic issues are more often on his staffs’ mind (or lack thereof) than the important and frightening  international issues currently facing the United States and the world. It illustrates clearly the competency of his staff and their obvious reliance on spell check when crafting his press releases. Instead of providing us with details of his possible treatment of vital issues we are caught in a web of challenging what should be personal choices and none of the government’s business.

The GOP clown car rolls on! I guess the folks in Alabama and Mississippi did not buy the carpetbagger Romney’s schtick. Shows what happens when you’re apt to say anything to try and be one of the clan. Very sad that the entire motivation of the GOP’s campaign is only to defeat Obama in November. How ridiculous it is that in 2012 the President’s race is still such a hot button issue.

“I’ve noticed something since I’ve been out on the road. I give a lot of speeches and talk about a lot of things.” — Sarah Palin from America by Heart

“Just a man with a mind for victory, and an arm like a f*cking cannon. But sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm.” — Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down

Get off the Cell Phone and DRIVE! — Jake Shween