Blog for Putin, Ford MIA, God on Climate Change

In a fit of despotic behavior the Emperor of Russia, the bear wresting hero of the Right Wing Nut Job elite, (including the Razzie nominated Steven Seagal), one Vladimir Putin has restricted blogging in the evolving country of Russia. He must have read something that gave him heartburn and inspired him to call for all blogs within Russia to be State registered and approved. Brilliant choice by Vladimir perhaps now his joke writing staff of retired KGB agents and the comic genius Eddie Snowden can get some actual hits on the what will now be the world famous blog: The KGB, The NSA and Me an Internal Triangle. We can’t wait to see what comes of this wonderfully oppresive move. We’re betting on more Pussy Riot!

Across the world in another Northern land the infamous Mayor of the beautiful Canadian city of Toronto, Rob Ford, has gone Missing in Action. The truth is after being recently captured on another crack cocaine camera opportunity/adventure he was finally convinced it was time for some timely intervention. On his way to rehab in Chicago, the city of choice for cocaine lovers, he was refused admission into the United States by Customs Officials. According to our sources he disappeared but is now somehow in rehab at an undisclosed location. Perhaps he’s in one of those ‘Speakeasy’ Rehabs that Chicago is famous for. We wish him a speedy recovery as his antics are needed in our world as we grow closer to the release of Godzilla.

Today we were able to reach God by phone. He was sleeping with three angels at the time and was a bit cranky at having been awakened. Yes, if you’re curious, he calls them ‘Charlie’s Angels’, we have never known God to go the other way. We immediately asked him if it was his will to impose this climate change thing, who he sleeps with is his own business. God told us in no uncertain terms in no damn way is he monkeying around with the climate. Everything that’s happening is our own fault. He said that: “The last time I interfered  I was drinking scotch and smoking hashish and things went terribly wrong. I blacked out and woke up with a devil of a hangover. Never again, it’s all your free will now boys and girls.”

“Glad I could clear things up for you.” — Jake Shween

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

The Author expresses his condolonces and sadness at the loss of Farley Mowat. He was a gifted author and a champion of environmental causes and will be missed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh Romneyo, Romneyo, Wherefore Art Thou Romneyo?

It looks like this week that the Romney Campaign is in dire need of ambulatory care. This constant state of denial of reality and facts leave no other choice for himself, his deeply troubled laissez faire running mate, one Paul Ryan, and his demented staff assisting him in his pitiable run for the Presidency. Perhaps with some professional consultation we can get to the root of his constant need to avoid reality including his aversion to forty seven percent of the population of the United States. Consider his quote from Sixty Minutes on Health Care: “Well, we do provide care for people who don’t have insurance, people — we — if someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and — and die. We — we pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care. And different states have different ways of providing for that care.”

Wow he needs assistance from a qualified health professional consultant. Any emergency room Doctor and their staff know that this is not the solution to the health care crisis. Preventive medicine is cheaper by far. The ambulance bill alone will be in the thousands of dollars. What about the poor woman who is single and raising a child with no health care who ends up in the emergency room at three am for help. This is Romney’s health care solution?

Does he have any idea what reality is for most of the human race? The answer is a resounding no. He reminds us of this again and again. What has become of the Republican Party as of late? It seems to have become a puppet arm of the fossil fuel consortium. The delusion continues. Evolution has been called into question. This is most interesting because where do the fossil fuel enthusiasts think all the damn FOSSIL fuel came from to begin with?

Now think of truly helping the middle class. Health care and education freely available to everyone. Clean air to breath and clean lakes and streams. Give tax breaks to clean energy companies and stop subsidizing the fossil fuel consortium. Face the fact that the easy oil to drill is gone, the easy coal to mine is gone (it should be noted here that coal burning is what causes acid rain and mercury contamination of lakes and streams), fracking for natural gas is an impractical, dangerous process and any use of these fossil fuels in the production of energy causes vast amounts of carbon dioxide to enter the atmosphere and contributes to the crisis of global warming! The Republican Party has to stop lying to the people that increased use and exploration for these dirty fuel sources will solve anything except putting more money in the pockets of the fossil fuel consortium.

“Trickle down economics is the most ridiculous economic plan. The only thing running downhill is excrement!” — Jake Shween

“Mitt Romney has more opinions than the five headed Monkey God!”—Martin Bashir

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” — Dr. Carl Jung

Get off the cell phone and drive! — Jake Shween

Green Shween

The news is good. The caveat is that action is required immediately. It is certainly a very exciting time to be alive. All the resources of the United States must be directed to the green revolution. We have no time for naysayers. To deny global warming is quite simply ignorant. It is just as ridiculous to deny evolution. But rather than argue about superficial notions we need to get going on a green initiative and set an example for the rest of the world.

It is truly time for the people who are pro life to prove it. Prove it by preserving the earth for the future generations of life. Put your money where your mouths are. Admit that burning coal and oil is not the solution. Renewable sources of energy are the only solution. Massive green projects are needed nationwide. All our resources should be directed towards green initiatives. Buildings need to be retrofit to be energy efficient. Stop mining coal or drilling oil and start reeducating people for careers to retool the country. We can’t afford to listen to the lobbyists any longer. Throw the lobbyists out of the capital. We need lawmakers to do what they’re supposed to do and serve the public!

The new age of communication should be bringing us closer and making us smarter, not tearing us apart and dumbing us down. Stop wasting time and massive amounts of money on hollow rhetoric for the delusional power mongers. People are sick and tired of being lied to. The military industrial complex must shed its skin and transform into a project of renewal, preservation and transformation. We need to tax carbon dioxide emissions. It should not be profitable to further pollute the atmosphere. Make it profitable to be green. Save the earth. Aren’t the fires and the drought enough to convince you that something needs to change?

“Beware the Corporate Democrats their bite is as bad as the Bandersnatch! Their nose grows long, their snout is huge, they fill you with their subterfuge. Better to shun a Republican at least you know where they’re coming from.” — Jake Shween

“Batten down the hatches and if they’re battened down already, batten ’em down again!” — Bugs Bunny

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween