Tag Archives: Fox News

The Grand Old Paralysis

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It seems like the Republican Party is now in its’ death throes in these United States. The message of the party is confused and very twisted. What was once the cause of conservatism has become a cause of hatred. None of the proposals of this party benefit the common citizen of the country. A party like this cannot survive. A sad divided party with confused religious principles and a twisted view of science will inevitably implode as it is already showing signs of doing. Educated people will see through the folly of following such a lost cause.

Despite the stupid notions and hate filled lies of Fox News and the likes of Rush Limbaugh eventually common sense and diplomacy will win out. Violence and hatred never solved anything. Violence and hatred cannot nurture life or the earth, two things that humanity needs to survive. The greed of corporations will not win out either. The attempts of a few to direct the political conversation through bullying and large sums of money is doomed as the people hear and know the truth. The population has reached the point of political advertising saturation. The average American’s BS meters have already gone off the charts. It is not the least surprising that in the Republican’s desperate attempt to retain control they who are in power are attempting to quash and control education everywhere. Education and the scientific principle cause people to question everything!

We must be vigilant and voice our disapproval of these crude methods and show up at the polls and vote this hatred away. We must protect the earth now and cease to destroy our home. If they want to hide the chemicals used in the fracking process obviously something is very wrong. We can’t let them poison our water and then sell us water. We can’t let them poison our food by genetically modifying it to carry toxic levels of pesticide. We can’t allow them to control and patent the seeds of the food we plant. These are just some of the ways that backward political parties seek to control and divide us. The Republican mission has become one to create fear and mistrust of each other to further divide us. These ultimately profit and power oriented motives are evil and must be stopped. It is time to act, stand together unified, and be counted.

We need politicians who believe and act on principles for the greater good. We don’t need ‘Corporate Democrats’ just playing a role to fool us! Education and communication are the keys to lift humanity out of its’ current trajectory towards destruction or dystopia. The notion of money controlling everything will be stopped as this world is witness to a change for the worse all around us. We will see the harmful results of profit as the only motivating force. We must evolve to a system of beliefs where the motivating force is life. We must adopt a philosophy of kindness.

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple; the philosophy is kindness.” — Dalai Lama

“It has always seemed strange to me… the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first, they love the produce of the second.” — John Steinbeck

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Conversion Therapy Makes Republicans Gayer!

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In a little reported discovery earlier this week doctors in Thailand have isolated a gene which if manipulated carefully by radiation therapy may result in a generation of gayer Republicans. Doctor Poon Tang of Twatyang Institute of Bangkok announced that for several years now his team had been working on a remedy for the typical constipated, small minded, anti-art Republican. After years of intensely secretive research on this particularly frustrating ailment, using primarily voluntary test subjects from various infected red states, areas known for their contamination, Doctor Tang and his team proclaimed satisfactory seminal results from the preliminary reparative therapy.

“We have isolated the ARTGAP1 gene and provided it with ample doses of healing sunshine from the premises of our happy domicile. In this extrusion we have exhibited such effects as are known to provide a well being for the healing process. After several treatments our exceedingly successful subjects have returned to their normal lives with renewed sense of health, vigor and enlightenment. We hope soon to expose this treatment to many more constipated republicans in the hope of causing the gridlock and cultural stink to end in the middle of our great friend country America.” Doctor Tang said through an interpreter.

Rumors are already circulating in Stockholm, Sweden that Doctor Poon Tang and the prestigious Twatyang institute may very well win this years Nobel Prize in medicine. This will be the first such award for a doctor from Thailand. Doctor Poon Tang and his staff announced that they would be thrilled to receive such an award. Doctor Poon Tang also graciously invited any small minded constipated Republicans who wish to seek his treatment free flights and room and board. Lucky participants will get an all expense paid trip to the luxurious Shangri-La Hotel located on the banks of the River of Kings just blocks from the Twatyang Institute. Treatment will be administered over the course of several weeks and entertainment is all included.

In the rare and strange event that this new miraculous treatment does not work; litigate not. There are many vacancies available working with old and crippled lawyers in the dark swampy jungles of nearby Laos.

“Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.” — Jerry Garcia

“Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” — Alan Watts

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

The Grand Old Paralysis

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It seems like the Republican Party is now in its’ death throes in these United States. The message of the party is confused and very twisted. What was once the cause of conservatism has become a cause of hatred. None of the proposals of this party benefit the common citizen of the country. A party like this cannot survive. A sad divided party with confused religious principles and a twisted view of science will inevitably implode as it is already showing signs of doing. Educated people will see through the folly of following such a lost cause.

Despite the stupid notions and hate filled lies of Fox News and the likes of Rush Limbaugh eventually common sense and diplomacy will win out. Violence and hatred never solved anything. Violence and hatred cannot nurture life or the earth, two things that humanity needs to survive. The greed of corporations will not win out either. The attempts of a few to direct the political conversation through bullying and large sums of money is doomed as the people hear and know the truth. The population has reached the point of political advertising saturation. The average American’s BS meters have already gone off the charts. It is not the least surprising that in the Republican’s desperate attempt to retain control they who are in power are attempting to quash and control education everywhere. Education and the scientific principle cause people to question everything!

We must be vigilant and voice our disapproval of these crude methods and show up at the polls and vote this hatred away. We must protect the earth now and cease to destroy our home. If they want to hide the chemicals used in the fracking process obviously something is very wrong. We can’t let them poison our water and then sell us water. We can’t let them poison our food by genetically modifying it to carry toxic levels of pesticide. We can’t allow them to control and patent the seeds of the food we plant. These are just some of the ways that backward political parties seek to control and divide us. The Republican mission has become one to create fear and mistrust of each other to further divide us. These ultimately profit and power oriented motives are evil and must be stopped. It is time to act, stand together unified, and be counted.

We need politicians who believe and act on principles for the greater good. We don’t need ‘Corporate Democrats’ just playing a role to fool us! Education and communication are the keys to lift humanity out of its’ current trajectory towards destruction or dystopia. The notion of money controlling everything will be stopped as this world is witness to a change for the worse all around us. We will see the harmful results of profit as the only motivating force. We must evolve to a system of beliefs where the motivating force is life. We must adopt a philosophy of kindness.

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple; the philosophy is kindness.” — Dalai Lama

“It has always seemed strange to me… the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first, they love the produce of the second.” — John Steinbeck

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Grand Old Paralysis

Posted on by
Reply

It seems like the Republican Party is now in its’ death throes in these United States. The message of the party is confused and very twisted. What was once the cause of conservatism has become a cause of hatred. None of the proposals of this party benefit the common citizen of the country. A party like this cannot survive. A sad divided party with confused religious principles and a twisted view of science will inevitably implode as it is already showing signs of doing. Educated people will see through the folly of following such a lost cause.

Despite the stupid notions and hate filled lies of Fox News and the likes of Rush Limbaugh eventually common sense and diplomacy will win out. Violence and hatred never solved anything. Violence and hatred cannot nurture life or the earth, two things that humanity needs to survive. The greed of corporations will not win out either. The attempts of a few to direct the political conversation through bullying and large sums of money is doomed as the people hear and know the truth. The population has reached the point of political advertising saturation. The average American’s BS meters have already gone off the charts. It is not the least surprising that in the Republican’s desperate attempt to retain control they who are in power are attempting to quash and control education everywhere. Education and the scientific principle cause people to question everything!

We must be vigilant and voice our disapproval of these crude methods and show up at the polls and vote this hatred away. We must protect the earth now and cease to destroy our home. If they want to hide the chemicals used in the fracking process obviously something is very wrong. We can’t let them poison our water and then sell us water. We can’t let them poison our food by genetically modifying it to carry toxic levels of pesticide. We can’t allow them to control and patent the seeds of the food we plant. These are just some of the ways that backward political parties seek to control and divide us. The Republican mission has become one to create fear and mistrust of each other to further divide us. These ultimately profit and power oriented motives are evil and must be stopped. It is time to act, stand together unified, and be counted.

We need politicians who believe and act on principles for the greater good. We don’t need ‘Corporate Democrats’ just playing a role to fool us! Education and communication are the keys to lift humanity out of its’ current trajectory towards destruction or dystopia. The notion of money controlling everything will be stopped as this world is witness to a change for the worse all around us. We will see the harmful results of profit as the only motivating force. We must evolve to a system of beliefs where the motivating force is life. We must adopt a philosophy of kindness.

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple; the philosophy is kindness.” — Dalai Lama

“It has always seemed strange to me… the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first, they love the produce of the second.” — John Steinbeck

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

U.S. Constitution Is Like the Bible; Keep What You Like Ignore the Rest!

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Ever notice how certain manipulative people edit out parts of books that might endanger their credibility? Take that old glorious manual written by men out in the desert all those thousands of years ago, the Holy Bible. How many times have you heard that book edited and rewritten, misquoted and selectively cited? Usually it is cleverly manipulated in the name of raising more money for one or another ministries that promise to provide you with abundance if you send them some ridiculous tithe of your hard earned cash. Did Moses ever refer to tithes? No. Did Elijah or Elisha ever ask for one tenth of your earnings? No. How about the big guy, the number one, the lord, the Savior, did Jesus Christ himself ever ask for a tithe? No, in fact he turned over the tables of the money changers who were selling sacrifices with which the Jews were using to make atonement. In fact in only one book of the Bible is the tithe ever mentioned and that is in the book of the lesser prophet Malachi but when you listen to the television evangelists or hey, the pastor down the street from your house, more often than not they won’t straight up tell you like it is. They want your hard earned cash to gas up their tax exempt Mercedes Benz!

It seems now the United States Constitution is now open to the same selective interpretation. In light of the recent Boston bombings some would now redefine the rights of United States citizenship and try the one surviving psycho as a “military combatant”. Interestingly, but not coincidentally, these are the very same people who take the second amendment to read that United States citizens have the right to bear arms including Bushmaster rifles and AK-47s which are weapons designed with killing people in mind and nothing else. Thank goodness these very same people, mainly the strange conglomeration of vitriol filled dunces on Fox News, were not the people who drafted the Constitution to begin with. However, they are very reminiscent of these crazy ministries that want you to think their way lest you be ostracized and left out in the cold where “there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth”. They support the seedy misinformed party that would manipulate you right into the nineteenth century.

To continue on the idea of tithing it is now past April 15th. We have paid our dues to Uncle Sam. So our sense of nationalism and patriotism is to some degree defined by our willingness to continue to fund the governments of our cities, states and nation. It is up to each of us then, as citizens, to carefully oversee where this money is spent. In a democracy such as ours the majority should rule. How is it that we cannot enact a stricter gun control statute when the majority of people overwhelmingly approve of such a measure? Suddenly we are being taxed without representation! The slick and slimy elected officials are ignoring the demands of the people and trying once again to manipulate our freedom! We need to be sure the money we have paid into the system is well spent and we aren’t being swindled and lied to! Let’s stop paying these fast talking elected officials who ignore the people and serve the plutocracy. Don’t waste our tax money dammit! It is time to change the number of senators elected per state to reflect the population of each state. We’re paying for this!

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” — Margaret Mead

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

New GOP Solution for Obamacare (ACA); Old Boehner Care

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Meeting in secret with Koch Industries’ subsidiaries which are the “Heritage Foundation” and “Americans for Prosperity” the GOP has come up with a fair and balanced solution for the impending, prolapsed and otherwise promisingly successful Affordable Care Act. Today it was announced that Old Boehner Care would be their solution as soon as that idealistic bastard President Obama gets out of their way. Never mind the bombastic Pope either folks, if people are poor and hungry and without health care Old Boehner Care will fill all their holes.

With Old Boehner Care you can keep your current health care plan. For a discount price you can be insured against anything from pregnancy to cosmic collision. All of our doctors are in the Old Boehner Care network and each one is board AMA (Actual Mental  Aberration) approved! Never mind if you have a chronic or preexisting condition there is nothing that a pair of pliers, a hacksaw or a well placed bullet can’t cure. These new GOP approved clinics will be built beside existing hospitals near the medical waste dumpsters to make clean up easy and affordable.

In the event that any spare organs can be donated or removed Koch Industries will issue the lucky devil a coupon redeemable for any of their health related products. For instance if you donate a kidney you may well receive a credit card that entitles you to free gasoline for one year. Just imagine the traveling you could do! You can leave that old coal town that is slowly dying and go to Detroit! What a hilariously small price to pay for all that automotive freedom. If you donate a spleen you may well receive a credit card for heating oil for a month. That would come in mighty handy warming your Montana bungalow in January. If you donate your heart to Dick Cheney you’ll die but your family will receive a copy of the Bible autographed by all the current Republican members of Congress! What precious memories to leave to your loved ones!

So don’t sign up for that failed Obamacare plan! Thumb your nose at those socialist Democrats. Join with Koch Industries and their heartless lying friends in the GOP party as well as Rupert Murdoch’s buddies at Fox and Friends. Remember our slogan: If it can’t be fixed for less than the deductible take it out back by the dumpster. We’re here for you America! God Bless you all!

“Women don’t care about contraception.” — Republican governor from South Carolina, Nikki Haley (2012)

“Resolve not to be overcome by evil, but to combat evil with good, working together to build an ever more just, free and secure society for generations yet to come.”— Pope Francis

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Offer Solutions; We Know There’s A Problem

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What can be done about so much hate and criticism all over the media these days? Its’ presence is pervasive in every form of media and certainly in the increasingly ridiculous realm of politics. People are freely sharing their hatred of one thing or another because they can do so in a fashion that appears to be anonymous. Nothing constructive comes out of any of this bullying and spewing of venom. Feel free to disagree with other people’s opinions but please note that bitterly sharing insult and vitriol is not the way solutions for a better way of doing things comes about.

We need to start respecting each others opinions and sharing our human experience and diversity. It is the politicians job to mitigate this communication and turn it into something constructive. Most need to rise above their chosen profession of law as this by its’ very nature coldly removes itself from a certain level of humanity. We need politicians who actually listen to the people the have been elected to serve as opposed to serving their own special interests and egotistical aspirations. It’s time to elevate the level of communication in the four estates of American Government; not to debase it into the name calling playground confrontation it has become.

Furthermore if we can remove the influences of big money from politics we will actually empower the individual! It’s absolutely amazing how many privately funded political interest groups use advertising and media influences to suggest quite the opposite is true. In reality, when the motivations are revealed, it’s not hard to tell the difference between the good and the bad guys. No rose colored glasses required simply a good measure of common sense. Corporations are not people nor do they behave altruistically. The Supreme Court has done our country a great injustice in upholding their rights as individual entities. Remember as well: Politicians serve the People; not the other way around!

“The more you can increase the fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.” — Noam Chomsky

“Liberals are concerned about the concentration of wealth because it inevitably leads to a concentration of power that undermines democracy.” — Robert B. Reich

The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/noamchomsk166977.html#cDHWZldj6QGEAGO7.99
The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/noamchomsk166977.html#cDHWZldj6QGEAGO7.99
The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/noamchomsk166977.html#cDHWZldj6QGEAGO7.99

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Wanted: Independent Leaders for the Republican Party

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The Republican party of the United States is in dire need of a complete overhaul. Somehow they have gone seriously off course. By pandering to the far right of extremism and embracing such monolithic mouthpieces as Limbaugh, Trump and Fox News the party has become lost in a morass of discord and hatred. At least Mitt Romney had the tact to admit defeat graciously in spite of the fact that he led a devious campaign filled with distortions of reality. Now Fox News has the crazy people in their glorious team of social miscreants accusing the other side of playing dirty to win the election! Of course the blow hard Trump and Limbaugh are quick to join in this cacophony of blithering idiocy. Whoa to the Republican party if it continues to let these mental midgets define who they are!

The Republican party is in dire need of some person to step above this fray. Someone with the will and fortitude to stand up to and put to rest this creed of lobbyist Grover Norquist. A free thinker who can put the former Scranton weatherman Bill O’Reilly in his place when O’Reilly suggests that the Republican party failed because the majority of people in The United States of America have declining moral values. Stop making excuses that have no basis in reality! The American people are wising up to the Republicans distortions of reality and very bad math. Put forth a free thinker who without condescension can tell the truth to America and argue for a wiser form of government. If not the Republican party will continue to disintegrate into a party that relies on hatred, lies, distortions and name calling if they have any hope of further deceiving the general population and that is not a path to lasting success.

Unfortunately for now there seems to be no such person on the horizon for the Republicans. Any rising star they have quickly becomes part of the military industrial complex and puts on the jack boots of their party members. Even the so called mavericks of the party have been stilted. The tea party has turned into the fossil fuel party. Maybe a camping trip to Greenland in the summer time is in order to prove to the last of the nay sayers that carbon dioxide is indeed heating the atmosphere and something needs to be done quickly and completely to avert worse disaster. Republicans need to embrace science and stop pretending it is something made up to bewilder them and call their faith into question. The sooner the party realizes that it can’t bully its way out of every problem the sooner they might produce a capable and courageous candidate who will not only earn the respect of the American people they will deserve it.

“Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose.” — George Will

“I have a very large Twitter.” — Donald Trump

“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.” — Rush Limbaugh

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Note: This was originally posted on November 7th 2012. It seems particularly relevant today as the Nation came precariously close to defaulting on its’ loans due to some delusional Republicans who had forgotten who won the Presidency. The message is the same.

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Art Brings Us Close to the Eternal

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Just when humanity brings you down once again and you are at the edge of a cliff staring at the abyss; The storm has overtaken you and there seems to be no way out; Your most beloved has departed suddenly and for no rational reason; A work of art may pierce your soul. Art redeems the purpose of your existence. Art resuscitates you. The breath of inspiration fills you once again.

Art is what differentiates us from the animals. Its’ very existence is unique to the human experience. Art makes us laugh and dream. Art has the power to make us cry and then inspire us to create. It can transport us and give us hope. When the world has gone mad we can find solace in it. We can escape into a painting perhaps. Lose our breath at the sight of a sculpture. Close our eyes and hear the sounds of heaven with songs that seem to come from the angels themselves. We might very well read ourselves into a fantastic saga of trial and redemption.

Art lifts our spirits bringing us close to the eternal. It is no small wonder that many of the worlds religions have directly inspired our most wondrous and precious art. In these days of great confusion and delusion let us remember the artists. Let each one honor the artist in themselves to lift us out of our darkness or if more tribulations are necessary to turn them into an appreciation of our shared humanity and wondrous diversity.

“The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It’s people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages”— Banksy

“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.”— Banksy

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

The Secret D-Bag Patrol

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Ted Cruz stared uneasily out of the hotel room door as the cars screamed down the Sam Houston highway. He had chosen this location for the meeting because of its’ low profile guests and the easy access to the George Bush Intercontinental Airport. “The Hyatt Place Bush”, he said to himself. “Intercontinental Bush” he snorted. “Sounds like a Cambodian hooker.” He stepped back into the room and stared at his cell phone. He tweeted: ‘Defund Obama care now and I denounce my Canadian Identity’. He walked back into the bathroom and touched up his mascara. He smiled and winked at himself. “No one must ever know”.  He picked up a bottle of mouthwash and swallowed hard three times. He felt absolved and headed back to the door waiting.

Down in the parking lot below a Mexican cab driver was arguing with a woman about her cab fare. “Damn looney tunes” he caught himself, he had almost yelled down and told the noisy pair to shut up. At the far end of the parking lot a Hummer limo was pulling in. He walked back inside the door and wrung his hands together in a washing motion. He couldn’t stand the suspense and crept back to the door. Peeping out with a raccoon eye he saw a small figure get out of the limo surrounded by three burly body guards. He thought the passenger glanced up at him but he couldn’t be sure. Scratching his head he wondered again if it was really true. No sooner had he sat in the gaudy chair and turned on Fox news there was a knock at the door. He said “It’s unlocked” as if he was too important to get up.

The door swung open forcefully as a large man abruptly entered. Behind his frame, almost infantile in his presence was the teen phenom, the one the only, Justin Beiber. Ted sprang up as if to defend his chair, “No bodyguards” he said. The large man retreated. It was him and Justin. “Come here my Canadian boy”, Ted crooned with a syrupy sweetness that was gooey like maple syrup. “I don’t believe that it’s true!” whined Justin, “It cannot be!”.

“Now, now the DNA tests don’t lie, plus you have a smarmy way about you, you know it’s true”. “You are my illegitimate son!”

Ted flopped back in the chair. What he had said relieved him of his dark secret. While on the debate team years ago he had been unrestrained in his words. More than his tongue had been wagging! He blamed his incontinence on his hot Cuban roots.

“But I love Canada and health care and hip hop and tattoos!” Justin whined in protest.

“Face it son, Canada sucks, healthcare is socialism and gun control is downright Communist. Plus you can’t out debate me. Not yet you hip hop wanna be. Here’s the deal you help me and I help you!”

“I’ll never help you. Never. Rudy come and get meeee!” Justin pleaded as the door swung open. The large man scooped him up with leathery hands like a sheep herder plucking out a young ram to be neutered. “I don’t know why I came here.”

“Well don’t forget you will never escape the fact that secretly we are truly members of the secret d-bag patrol. You have your baggy, falling down pants and I have my crappy attitude and mascara. Plus we both love the Jesus”, Ted said loudly, “The Jesus.”

Justin turned and looked back. “You’re a Kanye West fan?”, he asked.

“No dammit not Kanye you jackass, the Jesus, we are a father and son in Christ so don’t ever forget that all our douche bagginess will be forgiven.”

The door shut quickly. It was Ted alone in the room again. He opened his suitcase and cradled his revolver. He rubbed it like there was a genie inside. He had really wanted Justin’s support and acceptance but at least he had the gun. He went back into the bathroom placing his precious gun by the sink. He daubed at his eyes. His mascara was waterproof thankfully. He picked up the mouthwash and took another swig. “Oh Canada” he hummed to himself.

“For every one of us who succeeds, it’s because there’s somebody there to show you the way out.” — Oprah Winfrey

“The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” — Britney Spears

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween