‘Twas A Week Before Christmas & All Through The House…,

‘Twas a week before Christmas

And all through the House,

A Boehner was stirring,

The Tea Bagging crowd!

He passed a Ryan budget.

And much to their spite,

He called out the Funders

Of the far flinging Right!

Meanwhile the Limbaughs, the Hannitys and Becks

Were soaking their microphones,

With foam and spit flecks

They called him a turncoat,

And no Santa Claus

But then came Pope Francis,

To give everyone Pause,

He was the first Pope

To emulate Christ,

By shining an example

That made everyone look twice.

He called out our Idols,

The Capitalist Klan!

He asked us to Share More

With our Fellow Man!

And by an example

He sets with his Life

He shows us a way

To lessen our strife.

So heed now Pope Francis,

Whatever your faith

His words full of wisdom

Can heal us of Hate

And maybe just maybe

There’s hope in this world

When we all come together

And the truth is Unfurled!

“A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow real poverty.” — David Hume

“Avarice, the spur of industry.” — David Hume

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

New GOP Solution for Obamacare (ACA); Old Boehner Care

Meeting in secret with Koch Industries’ subsidiaries which are the “Heritage Foundation” and “Americans for Prosperity” the GOP has come up with a fair and balanced solution for the impending, prolapsed and otherwise promisingly successful Affordable Care Act.¬†Today it was announced that Old Boehner Care would be their solution as soon as that idealistic bastard President Obama gets out of their way. Never mind the bombastic Pope either folks, if people are poor and hungry and without health care Old Boehner Care will fill all their holes.

With Old Boehner Care you can keep your current health care plan. For a discount price you can be insured against anything from pregnancy to cosmic collision. All of our doctors are in the Old Boehner Care network and each one is board AMA (Actual Mental¬† Aberration) approved! Never mind if you have a chronic or preexisting condition there is nothing that a pair of pliers, a hacksaw or a well placed bullet can’t cure. These new GOP approved clinics will be built beside existing hospitals near the medical waste dumpsters to make clean up easy and affordable.

In the event that any spare organs can be donated or removed Koch Industries will issue the lucky devil a coupon redeemable for any of their health related products. For instance if you donate a kidney you may well receive a credit card that entitles you to free gasoline for one year. Just imagine the traveling you could do! You can leave that old coal town that is slowly dying and go to Detroit! What a hilariously small price to pay for all that automotive freedom. If you donate a spleen you may well receive a credit card for heating oil for a month. That would come in mighty handy warming your Montana bungalow in January. If you donate your heart to Dick Cheney you’ll die but your family will receive a copy of the Bible autographed by all the current Republican members of Congress! What precious memories to leave to your loved ones!

So don’t sign up for that failed Obamacare plan! Thumb your nose at those socialist Democrats. Join with Koch Industries and their heartless lying friends in the GOP party as well as Rupert Murdoch’s buddies at Fox and Friends. Remember our slogan: If it can’t be fixed for less than the deductible take it out back by the dumpster. We’re here for you America! God Bless you all!

“Women don’t care about contraception.” Republican governor from South Carolina, Nikki Haley (2012)

“Resolve not to be overcome by evil, but to combat evil with good, working together to build an ever more just, free and secure society for generations yet to come.”— Pope Francis

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween