‘Twas A Week Before Christmas & All Through The House…,

‘Twas a week before Christmas

And all through the House,

A Boehner was stirring,

The Tea Bagging crowd!

He passed a Ryan budget.

And much to their spite,

He called out the Funders

Of the far flinging Right!

Meanwhile the Limbaughs, the Hannitys and Becks

Were soaking their microphones,

With foam and spit flecks

They called him a turncoat,

And no Santa Claus

But then came Pope Francis,

To give everyone Pause,

He was the first Pope

To emulate Christ,

By shining an example

That made everyone look twice.

He called out our Idols,

The Capitalist Klan!

He asked us to Share More

With our Fellow Man!

And by an example

He sets with his Life

He shows us a way

To lessen our strife.

So heed now Pope Francis,

Whatever your faith

His words full of wisdom

Can heal us of Hate

And maybe just maybe

There’s hope in this world

When we all come together

And the truth is Unfurled!

“A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow real poverty.” — David Hume

“Avarice, the spur of industry.” — David Hume

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Tea Baggers Zero/ Jersey Goombas One

The election results are in! The votes have been counted. The message is clear. If the Republicans have any chance of staying in the next Presidential election they have to stick with candidates that can grease the competition rather than deny them oral sex and sodomy. Better to stick with a guy who can deliver the goods than a pansy who is lousy in bed and frightened of vaginas. Weight was clearly not a factor here, nor was any serious look at voting records that should be of more import. Instead the United States of New Jersey reelected their stately Monarch, the Godfather of Trenton, Chris Christie. The man with a name so nice they named him twice!

Ken Cuccinelli (know as “The Cooch” to his minions; how ironic) bit on the big one in Virginia. Didn’t matter that Virginia is for lovers his campaign was out to deflower the state right out of Bacchanalian debauchery and take us back to the time of Leviticus. Even Ayn Rand Paul campaigning for him did not help his anti anal endeavors. Despite his name ending in a vowel he was simply not the type to get it done when it counted. His flaccid campaign simply petered out and never came. The tea baggers had no imagination to stiffen him up and thrust him into the Governorship. Even with his outspoken hatred of all things Obama; he was thwarted by a prophylactic Democrat. All hail Governor Terry McAulliffe the new sultan of swing in Virginia. Maybe now the state can be for lovers again! Vaginal, Oral or Anal it’s a triple threat!

Let that be a hard lesson to all the ancient thinking Republicans who want a shot at being the next President. You can give us all the dope we can smoke but sometimes we just, depending on your persuasion of course, want to smoke the sausage, pin the tail on the donkey and rub one out for the Gipper! “If a man lay with another he must be stoned” it says in Leviticus. Damn straight and it better be some good herb. So keep the damn government out of the bedroom. Start doing some actual work in Washington. Save the Earth and stop wasting our time with arguing. Leave your stupid religion and outrageous moral demands at home and face reality before there is no Earth left to leave to our children.

“There is more stupidity than Hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.” — Frank Zappa

“I don’t believe in dressing up reality. I don’t believe in using make up to make things look smoother.” — Lou Reed

“Two Rock and Roll Icons. These are the true moral men of our time who both passed away too soon.” — Jake Shween

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Guns, Nuts and Government Ruts

Maybe in a thousand years or so Americans will finally figure out that having a lot of guns laying around is bound to increase the probability that someone will be shot. Seems rather obvious when you think about it doesn’t it? When there is a lot of jellyfish in the ocean you likely will get stung if you go in the water. If there’s poison ivy all over the place outside you might very well step in it. The more there is of it around the greater the chance of contact. Wasps flying everywhere increases the possibility of getting stung; you get the picture now don’t you? Why are there so many people in denial of such an obvious logical conclusion? It’s hard to believe that people are just that stupid!

Speaking of nuts we need to heal our relationship with Iran while the door is opening. Never mind that they aren’t all clones of us. Forget the xenophobia you learned from the haters. The majority of Iranian people like the same things that we do: Video games, fast cars, rock & roll and movies with a little bit of hooch on the side. Their new president, Hasan Rouhani seems to be willing to negotiate and talk in a level headed manner we have not seen for many years. Let’s hear him out! Soon he will be addressing the United Nations and we need to listen carefully. Have you ever seen a pistachio nut from Iran!? They are as big as your thumb! Nowhere in the world are they as large and tasty. We need to lift trade sanctions and restore these bombs of nutrition to our tables as soon as possible!


Which brings us to the same old bombastic bologna happening in Congress. Once again the Republican stooges are threatening to shut down the government and not pay America’s debts if the Affordable Health Care act gets any funding in the new budget. Rush Limbaugh is calling for a “complete repeal and to start from scratch”. How about instead of that we have a complete repeal of Congress and start from scratch! The American people are overdue for leaders that will represent them and not the insurance companies, multinational corporations (big oil) and Wall Street bankers. The tea baggers have quickly outworn their welcome and proven that they are nothing more than corporate shills. It’s time we put the needs of the many above those of the privileged few.

Limbaugh Bloviating (see above)

“The miracle is this: The more we share the more we have.” — Leonard Nimoy

“Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween