District of Crazy; Why the Two Parties Deserve Each Other!

Another week, another scandal, what else is new while the sequester festers? Waiter I’d like to order a burnt mash of stale Benghazi with a salad of tossed Internal Revenue Service and a little Associated Press sauce on the side, hold the justice please. Press please make sure you run with these scandals and beat them into the dirt whilst other, larger shenanigans continue unchecked. Who cares if good programs to help people in need are cut if we can stir up the muck? Meals on wheels, no way! We want arguing and investigation, we are lawyers dammit not cooks! What do you think this is a breadline?

International news? Banking scandals continuing? Elections looming in Iran? Who cares! We’ve got meat head Democrats against dick weed Republicans in a cage match here! So very sorry if you registered to be a stand off snob Independent and choose not to participate in blatant bipartisan stupidity. You can’t be helped in the District of Crazy! We need reasons to do nothing and then have a Congressional investigation as to why nothing was done! Let’s spend the taxpayers money dammit! Make them forget all about the plan we have to obscure the real pertinent issues that actually affect everyone’s quality of life while we slowly pilfer every nook and cranny until there is nothing left for the sad, so called, commoner!

Go to it you fools! Please don’t let any rational thought stop you from your chosen path of hostility and obfuscation. This kind of news feed makes the Fox news team orgasmic! It is their finest hour! The culmination of their meticulous research, their fastidious fact finding and magnificent truth telling. Truly we should be thankful that there indeed are a wonderful few left who proudly make it their task to provide us with reasons to survive in this declining civilization where the coming zombie apocalypse is imminent and threatening us every day! The smart money is on the party that can tell the biggest whopper.

Let no banker be convicted! Let the hedge funds rape and pillage! We need profitability above all! Sustainability? Yes we will sustain our supply of stupidity until the planet is on the very brink. Green? Watch us put the Keystone Pipeline through while you fools are caught in a rapture of scandal. You are green and naive already so what are you possibly worried about? You idealists and environmentalists should give up now. Accountability? Dream on you dimwits! The District of Crazy has assumed control!

“Facing it, always facing it, that’s the way to get through. Face it.” — Joseph Conrad

“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” — Jospeh Conrad

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween


Rupert’s Folly; Newt Bites It

Looks like the end of Rupert Murdoch’s reign as the head of the News Corporation. According to the parliamentary committee in London he is “not fit to exercise the stewardship of a major international company”. This calls to question: will this affect the credibility of his news operation here in America? That remains to be seen. His current cast of bozos seem to be in denial. Perhaps they all actually believe in their own twisted perceptions of reality. It would be bombastic if any of them could admit to the fact that their boss is a bully and no better than a mob boss. Even a pirate has more conscience than a man who would freely let his underlings hack phone lines and then deny any knowledge of their behavior. Oh how the mighty fall!

Not that long ago in March of 1985 Rupert embarked on his plan to establish a new network in the United States. His plan was bold and quite unconventional. Many naysayers thought that the network was doomed from the start with it’s assortment of untested shows that first aired in October of 1986. Many of those early shows met a quick demise but some survived as Rupert was not afraid to spend the money to keep talent. In October of 1996 he set his sites on a 24 hour cable news network. Almost immediately he resorted to tabloid journalism. The Fox News Channel now consists of loud mouth imbeciles who sadly spew doctrines of hatred and division endlessly. Sad that anyone in their right mind would subscribe to such blabbering which seems beyond right wing. In fact the opinions expressed on Fox News border on and fall into the fantasies of what you might call the lunatic fringe. What will Rupert’s next quest be? Well at 81 perhaps there is an opening for him as a consultant to Mitt Romney. Antique thinking seems to be the case for the GOP who want to return us to a pathetic bunch of brain bashing Luddites while they escape with all of our hard earned cash to their sterile fortresses.

Oh Newt how big you once talked! Now it looks like its back to the scum filled pond you crawled out of. (Sad that you share a name with a noble member of the amphibian species.) You will have to support Romney now! You said such nice things about him. It’s like you two guys could not get enough of each other. Don’t worry Newt! At 68 you can always hook up with Rupert Murdoch. Maybe you two can become the new Laurel and Hardy of the Fox News corporation. Now that would be a show we could all enjoy! The Newt and Rupert Comedy Hour exclusively on Fox News Channel. Has a nice ring to it. You could do a live broadcast every night of the week and compare notes and crazy rantings! Good luck Newt! We will miss your gay stay puffed marshmallow head spouting vague references to ill conceived notions and mean spirited but well meaning diatribes! Don’t forget to give Romney a big wet kiss as you depart!

“The Big Show is inside my head!” — Kurt Vonnegut

“I don’t care what you say about me, just spell my name right.”— P.T. Barnum

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween