Forget Reality this is Much More Important

Pull up a chair and set a spell there is a whole other round of reality coming your way this week in the news. Pay no attention to the media circus behind the curtain. It doesn’t matter that the Pope is resigning and he actually was not, common to contrary belief, fired by Donald Trump. There is also no truth to the rumor that the Catholic Church is beset by scandal and backstabbing infighting. Remember these men of God have forsworn their egos to serve the true Christ. Far be it for them to be guilty of the pompous sin of envy  and the filthy sin of lust. It seems as if they had not found a career serving God they could have just as easily pursued the noble professions of banking or lawyering.

Scandal is as scandal does and the merry go round continues in the fabulous world of beltway bloviating. Nothing new to report dear readers. Very little has changed politically. However, the climate is still rapidly changing. Oil companies are hastily trying to sell us on fracking and how extremely safe and bankable it is. (For them it is – they are certain to rape a tidy profit!) Also the calls for the Keystone Pipeline, a huge pipeline through the middle of the country to transport “shale oil” is causing a ruckus. Remember now you cannot have your cake and eat it too! We can’t burn up the world and grow trees at the same time. Make up your mind dammit.

Sequester this and sequester that, kick the can and let the fat lady sing. Let’s cut all the helpful programs because we still didn’t pay for that damn Iraq war we were sold by the warmongering cronies we were stuck with in the beginning of the millennium. Imagine a reality where those cronies accepted that responsibility and were actually accountable for their actions!? Who owns a huge chunk of that debt? China! Now we owe China some serious coin.  Meanwhile China is trying to hack our computers. Gee ya think they remember the Opium Wars and maybe they are still sore about that? C’mon fellas we were doing our best to be the most honorable pirates as sanctioned by God and the king! Hell don’t dare raise the minimum wage! We need division and an abyss. Let us have our walls and lawyers to hide behind. D.C. runs on lawyers, bad blood and empty rhetoric.

H.S.B.C. the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation has gotten away with murder. Not the first bank and in no way the last. Nothing new here however just another story about money getting in the way of humanity in the sense that humans are supposedly compassionate creatures. But wait are we really compassionate? Is that a reality or just something the Pope wanted us to believe? Some sugar coated Christian cake. An idealist version of a juvenile reality. No wonder the Pope quit. Was that a wolf with a suitcase full of money running down the road? Profit, not The Prophet, is God. Christ is for suckers.

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“That weapon will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will now be written with blood.” — Nobody, from Dead Man by Jim Jarmusch

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” — Aldous Huxley

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Soft Drink Danger and Other Reasons to Leave Home and Vote

This past week saw a wild rumpus ensue when the sometimes controversial Mayor of NYC, Michael Bloomberg decided to ban the sale of sodas over 16 ounces that contain 50 or more calories. Considering all the very real dangers that face us every day it is interesting to zero in on something as relatively harmless as what some consider to be a rather delightful beverage. While it is a fact that government needs to establish certain regulations to protect the populace isn’t this notion of controlling what we choose to drink going a bit far? Next will we be required to consume vegetable juice every day to ensure we get the proper dose of fiber and nutrients? Why not? If the government can forbid us drinking sweetened soda why shouldn’t it require us to drink vegetable juice?

Here’s an idea for all health conscious mayors across the country. Put a ban in place on the use of elevators in all buildings except in emergencies. This would require everyone to use the stairs. What better way to get a work out particularly if one works on the 50th floor? Maybe all the public water fountains should be boosted with vitamin c. That way we could prevent the rampant scurvy that is occurring in our cities. Have the TSA enforce a rule that anyone who wanted to ride the subway for twenty blocks or less would be turned down and forced to walk instead. Never mind inclimate weather! The harsh conditions might burn even more calories. For that matter steakhouses should be forced to serve beef in 6 ounce portions or less. Otherwise a heavy fine should be levied against them to fund cardiologists nationwide!

Dear reader it is easy to see how easy it is for government to overstep its’ bounds and dictate our lives. The Declaration of Independence states:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

Has the mayor of NYC read these very words? How can it be dictated to us what our personal definition of happiness is? Perhaps ones happiness is guzzling a big gulp on a hot day and belching at a passing police officer. It is a sad day when our country begins to dictate our habits. The term for that is dictatorship as opposed to democracy. Government need not enforce common sense. Let us concentrate our efforts on more vital matters. Perhaps the proliferation of firearms and the clear and present danger the possession and use of such weapons causes. After all, people don’t consume a soda and drop dead like they do when they’re consumed by a bullet.

 “Speaking for the great white father in Washington and all the American people, let me say we respect you savages for your native ability to instantly adapt and survive in whatever Godforsaken wilderness we move you to. Out there. Sign here.” — Firesign Theater from: Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Nugent Rewrites ‘Journey to the Center of the Mind’; Now called: ‘Journey to the Center of the Bunghole!’

In case you missed it Ted Nugent shot his mouth off the other day at an NRA rally. This is a figurative representation of course from a man who is known for such genius works as: Kill it and Grill It, Wang Dang Sweet Poontang, Cat Scratch Fever and one of his first hits with The Amboy Dukes, Journey to the Center of the Mind. Ted dear boy it seems you did not smoke enough of the peace weed back in the day or perhaps you neglected to meditate on peace like your band mates did. It appears that all those random sexual acts you engaged in overloaded your neural network with a flood of testosterone causing you to think that violent acts towards living things including your very own neighbors who don’t agree with your blood lust perversion is some kind of solution for your obvious lack of social skills and tact. Perhaps you should go with your flow and write a new song about a coyote peeing on your couch!

Can you imagine that a powerful lobby like the NRA  would engage in such rabble rousing and encourage such animosity and hatred towards fellow human beings? Why yes of course! Isn’t this the very same organization that wants to arm everyone until we return to the wild west? How sad the the very people who need evolution the most are the ones who don’t believe in it and seek to have the theory quashed altogether in our educational system. The people who fight against abortion tooth and nail would like everyone to grow up first and then shoot each other. Apparently this makes for better television and biblical prophesy.

No sooner had Ted gone ballistic above and beyond the call of the idiotic at the blood thirsty NRA rally than did he reappear the next day to reiterate his brand of hate on the radio show of the Fox Network fired Glenn Beck the self ordained clown prince of violent stupidity and cockamamie conspiracy theory. Nice to see birds of a feather still flock together. If only there was a way we could safely transport these petulant lunatics to a cordoned off insane preserve where they could play with guns to their hearts’ content without harming any innocent people. They could swap conspiracy theories around camp fires and dine on uncooked animal intestines.

This should serve as a wake up call to the GOP. Look at the violent fools you have brought into your fold. Is it really worth making these kinds of associations for the sake of an election? What will you do to appease these violent people in the future? Do you really expect them to be satisfied without them killing something or God forbid someone?

It is perfectly alright to disagree with the way things are being run in and around Washington DC, but the way to change things is not with acts of violence. The civilized way to change things is with intelligent and patient discourse with the whole world as your witness.

“People kill people and guns make it easy and impersonal.”— Jake Shween

“Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.”— Gore Vidal

 Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween