Wanted: Independent Leaders for the Republican Party

The Republican party of the United States is in dire need of a complete overhaul. Somehow they have gone seriously off course. By pandering to the far right of extremism and embracing such monolithic mouthpieces as Limbaugh, Trump and Fox News the party has become lost in a morass of discord and hatred. At least Mitt Romney had the tact to admit defeat graciously in spite of the fact that he led a devious campaign filled with distortions of reality. Now Fox News has the crazy people in their glorious team of social miscreants accusing the other side of playing dirty to win the election! Of course the blow hard Trump and Limbaugh are quick to join in this cacophony of blithering idiocy. Whoa to the Republican party if it continues to let these mental midgets define who they are!

The Republican party is in dire need of some person to step above this fray. Someone with the will and fortitude to stand up to and put to rest this creed of lobbyist Grover Norquist. A free thinker who can put the former Scranton weatherman Bill O’Reilly in his place when O’Reilly suggests that the Republican party failed because the majority of people in The United States of America have declining moral values. Stop making excuses that have no basis in reality! The American people are wising up to the Republicans distortions of reality and very bad math. Put forth a free thinker who without condescension can tell the truth to America and argue for a wiser form of government. If not the Republican party will continue to disintegrate into a party that relies on hatred, lies, distortions and name calling if they have any hope of further deceiving the general population and that is not a path to lasting success.

Unfortunately for now there seems to be no such person on the horizon for the Republicans. Any rising star they have quickly becomes part of the military industrial complex and puts on the jack boots of their party members. Even the so called mavericks of the party have been stilted. The tea party has turned into the fossil fuel party. Maybe a camping trip to Greenland in the summer time is in order to prove to the last of the nay sayers that carbon dioxide is indeed heating the atmosphere and something needs to be done quickly and completely to avert worse disaster. Republicans need to embrace science and stop pretending it is something made up to bewilder them and call their faith into question. The sooner the party realizes that it can’t bully its way out of every problem the sooner they might produce a capable and courageous candidate who will not only earn the respect of the American people they will deserve it.

“Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose.” — George Will

“I have a very large Twitter.” — Donald Trump

“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.” — Rush Limbaugh

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Note: This was originally posted on November 7th 2012. It seems particularly relevant today as the Nation came precariously close to defaulting on its’ loans due to some delusional Republicans who had forgotten who won the Presidency. The message is the same.

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Supreme Court Approves Union of O’Reilly & Limbaugh

In a surprise emergency verdict today the Supreme Court announced the decision to allow the same sex marriage of Bill O’Reilly the esteemed Scranton weather man turned Fox News political pundit and the ‘Jabba the Hut Like’ Rush Limbaugh disseminator of misinformation on the radio! Justice Anton Scalia delivered the unanimous decision of the court allowing that the two ‘incontrovertibly demonstrated’ the ability to argue and feud just like a married couple is apt to do so: ‘why not let the two deviants tie the knot and consummate the union the old fashioned way!’ Great plans for this festive occasion are already under way. Prince Remus (Reince Priebus) has agreed to be the wedding planner!

So far the rumors are that the wedding will take place in South Beach Miami at the luxurious Trump International Beach Resort. The guest list is quite extensive and is sure to grow. The highly steamed and overwhelmingly evil dictator with a bad haircut of the tiny sad country of North Korea, one Kim Jong Un is to preside over the wedding ceremony as he has already been credited by certain lunatic fringe GOP party members to be the cause of unholy matrimony as well as gun control and rampant paranoia among other afflictions of mental paucity. It is only fitting that he preside since he is the cause of such diverse mental dysentery. The best man is sure to be Kim’s best bud the highly tattoed and well punctured former member of the Chicago Bulls basketball team the rebounding and ever eloquent Dennis Rodman! Ann Coulter will be the flower girl but no word yet on whether her bulldog will attend.

Representative Louie Gohmert republican of Texas has been outspoken in his support of such odd partnerships. He actually had predicted that such match ups would surely take place after he confessed his attraction to a Gila monster last November. Prince Remus thinks he has an eye for decorating so he has placed Representative Gohmert in charge of festooning the buffoonery! A Tex Mex theme it may very well be. The illustrious Wayne LaPierre, el presidente of the NRA, will be in charge of catering the event and is sure to provide plenty of fresh red meat for all to consume in corpulent debauchery. Donald Trump has promised full access to his ‘very large Twitter’ to help spread the word!

Bend over Rush and brace yourself! Bible thumping Bill is coming in from behind! Shades of deliverance upon you all! Lord have mercy we’re having a hoe down!

“I’ve always been crazy it keeps me from going insane!” — Waylon Jennings

“When the Democrats flip their kritch like these bastards let me know!”                  — Jake Shween

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Forget Reality this is Much More Important

Pull up a chair and set a spell there is a whole other round of reality coming your way this week in the news. Pay no attention to the media circus behind the curtain. It doesn’t matter that the Pope is resigning and he actually was not, common to contrary belief, fired by Donald Trump. There is also no truth to the rumor that the Catholic Church is beset by scandal and backstabbing infighting. Remember these men of God have forsworn their egos to serve the true Christ. Far be it for them to be guilty of the pompous sin of envy  and the filthy sin of lust. It seems as if they had not found a career serving God they could have just as easily pursued the noble professions of banking or lawyering.

Scandal is as scandal does and the merry go round continues in the fabulous world of beltway bloviating. Nothing new to report dear readers. Very little has changed politically. However, the climate is still rapidly changing. Oil companies are hastily trying to sell us on fracking and how extremely safe and bankable it is. (For them it is – they are certain to rape a tidy profit!) Also the calls for the Keystone Pipeline, a huge pipeline through the middle of the country to transport “shale oil” is causing a ruckus. Remember now you cannot have your cake and eat it too! We can’t burn up the world and grow trees at the same time. Make up your mind dammit.

Sequester this and sequester that, kick the can and let the fat lady sing. Let’s cut all the helpful programs because we still didn’t pay for that damn Iraq war we were sold by the warmongering cronies we were stuck with in the beginning of the millennium. Imagine a reality where those cronies accepted that responsibility and were actually accountable for their actions!? Who owns a huge chunk of that debt? China! Now we owe China some serious coin.  Meanwhile China is trying to hack our computers. Gee ya think they remember the Opium Wars and maybe they are still sore about that? C’mon fellas we were doing our best to be the most honorable pirates as sanctioned by God and the king! Hell don’t dare raise the minimum wage! We need division and an abyss. Let us have our walls and lawyers to hide behind. D.C. runs on lawyers, bad blood and empty rhetoric.

H.S.B.C. the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation has gotten away with murder. Not the first bank and in no way the last. Nothing new here however just another story about money getting in the way of humanity in the sense that humans are supposedly compassionate creatures. But wait are we really compassionate? Is that a reality or just something the Pope wanted us to believe? Some sugar coated Christian cake. An idealist version of a juvenile reality. No wonder the Pope quit. Was that a wolf with a suitcase full of money running down the road? Profit, not The Prophet, is God. Christ is for suckers.

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“That weapon will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will now be written with blood.” — Nobody, from Dead Man by Jim Jarmusch

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” — Aldous Huxley

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween

Wanted: Independent Leaders for the Republican Party

The Republican party of the United States is in dire need of a complete overhaul. Somehow they have gone seriously off course. By pandering to the far right of extremism and embracing such monolithic mouthpieces as Limbaugh, Trump and Fox News the party has become lost in a morass of discord and hatred. At least Mitt Romney had the chops to admit defeat graciously in spite of the fact that he led a devious campaign filled with distortions of reality. Now Fox News has the crazy people in their glorious team of social miscreants accusing the other side of playing dirty to win the election! Of course the blow hard Trump and Limbaugh are quick to join in this cacophony of blithering idiocy. Whoa to the Republican party if it continues to let these mental midgets define who they are!

The Republican party is in dire need of some person to step above this fray. Someone with the will and fortitude to stand up to and put to rest this creed of lobbyist Grover Norquist. A free thinker who can put the former Scranton weatherman Bill O’Reilly in his place when O’Reilly suggests that the Republican party failed because the majority of people in The United States of America have declining moral values. Stop making excuses that have no basis in reality! The American people are wising up to the Republicans distortions of reality and very bad math. Put forth a free thinker who without condescension can tell the truth to America and argue for a wiser form of government. If not the Republican party will continue to disintegrate into a party that relies on hatred, lies, distortions and name calling if they have any hope of further deceiving the general population and that is not a path to lasting success.

Unfortunately for now there seems to be no such person on the horizon for the Republicans. Any rising star they have quickly becomes part of the military industrial complex and puts on the jack boots of their party members. Even the so called mavericks of the party have been stilted. The tea party has turned into the fossil fuel party. Maybe a camping trip to Greenland in the summer time is in order to prove to the last of the nay sayers that carbon dioxide is indeed heating the atmosphere and something needs to be done quickly and completely to avert worse disaster. Republicans need to embrace science and stop pretending it is something made up to bewilder them and call their faith into question. The sooner the party realizes that it can’t bully its way out of every problem the sooner they might produce a capable and courageous candidate who will not only earn the respect of the American people they will deserve it.

“Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose.” — George Will

“I have a very large Twitter.” — Donald Trump

“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.” — Rush Limbaugh

Get off the cell phone and Drive! — Jake Shween